“I’ve murdered thousands and only felt the slightest hint of remorse,” said the little old man. He fidgeted with a bowler hat in his lap.
“Well, audience?” asked the game-show host.
Bleep. Bloop. Blorp.
The host gestured towards a digital display. “The numbers are overwhelming, audience says... exterminator.”
The little old man’s lips twitched into a smile beneath his white, walrusy mustache. He chuckled and nodded. Lifted himself from the chair, and shuffled towards the exit.
“Next up on Name that Profession: I like big butts and I cannot lie.” The host winked at the cameras. “Stay tuned.”
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That’s hilarious. Had me at first. Now I’m really curious what occupation “likes big butts.”
Hey Derek,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I’m so glad you liked this micro-fiction. I originally thought of the “likes big butts” profession as a plastic surgeon that specializes in gluteal augmentations. However, another reader (on Instagram) thought of a cigar-cutter, which is also a brilliant possibility. Thank you again for reading and commenting, I hope you have a great week!
Take care,
CR
Well done, I didn’t picture that twist that you threw in!
Thanks, Clint. I’m so glad you enjoyed this and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. New Tiny Epic Tales are posted every Thursday.
Take care,
CR
Pretty! This was a really wonderful story.
Thanks, Mandy. I’m glad you enjoyed this story and that you think my (website?) is pretty. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and I hope you have a great rest of your week!
Take care,
CR
I really like what you are up to. Such clever work! I’ve added you to my blogroll.
Thank you for that wonderful compliment, Jona. I’m so glad you enjoyed this Tiny Epic Tale! I appreciate you taking the time to comment and thank you for adding me to your list. I posted a new micro-fiction today. I hope you’ll check it out!
Take care,
CR